June 1, 2009

I hate Spencer Pratt!!

I am sitting here watching the new reality TV show, "I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here." I had to have a few laughs as the show is starting. Right off you wonder who is going to crack and who is going to do really well. You don't think about what the camp dynamics is going to be. Well, I should have. Not even half way through the show you get to know a certain young man a little better.

Spencer Pratt. I am not sure if you are familiar with him. He is on a "reality" show on MTV. I say "reality" because I'm not sure how much of it is real and how much of it is scripted. He thinks that being on this show and marring his co-star makes him a superstar! I have never seen an episode The Hills. To be honest after watching him on this show I will never watch an episode.

Between his begging to leave, picking on other contestants, (mostly the women) and talking about how just being around these people was losing him fame, we get told he is a new Christian! What?? Are you serious? This is what them godly folks who protest my marriage are recruiting these days?? Heaven help us!

I am not sure about his wife. Are they even really married? Last tabloid I saw said something about it being a stunt for the show. Who knows.

I think it is so sad that this kid, who has some mild level of fame thinks he is entitled to a certain type of life. And that his self worth is somehow higher than stars who have paid "their dues" for years. Some starting before he was even born. Where is the day when stars were humble and thankful for their position? Uuuggghhh!!

Apparently this show will be on four nights a week. You can guess what my blogs are going to be about for a while if this keeps up. And if you read on some paper that a lesbian mom from Michigan sought out Spencer Pratt and bent him over her knee and spanked his spoiled butt...well...you know what I'm up to!

May 25, 2009


Have you ever felt like you had a stalker? You go somewhere just to run into them there. You are sitting on line working on a great blog( or not so great as the case may be) and they IM you to see where you are going that day. I'm beginning to think I have a stalker!

It started witha Twitter post. "Going to the store for eggs." Pretty simple right? There are three major grocery stores in our little town. There are two drug stores, a couple of gas stations, and little markets that sale eggs as well. Who knows where I was going to go. I walk in, and there the stalker is. Right there, in broad day light, lurking in the produce of my store! Maybe I'm just jumpy.

I then post to twitter, "going for a bike ride." I head to the trails. I don't know about most people but when I ride my bike it's a lot like using the restroom. I want it quiet so I can think and work on getting out whatever I am trying to work through. (What an awful comparison! LOL) I don't like to chat while I ride. But, who should happen to be there? Stalker! And wouldn't you know they want to talk the entire 4 miles I have left on my ride!

Maybe this person has a crush. Maybe they are just in need of a friend. I'm trying to be nice but it is starting to creep me out a little. I have decided to do something about it. I'm going to start posting random locations I may or may not be at. Maybe they will get tired of going all over town for nothing. Better yet, I am going to say I am taking a job at the local sex shop.

So, if you see some strange post on my twitter about going to Mexico to start my own donkey show, pay it no attention. Just trying to duck and weave!

May 24, 2009

Welcome Back!

Oh, wait, I was the one gone. Well, I'm back. That's not right either. I wasn't ever gone, just not writing. Now that we have that settled.

If you have followed my blog you know I moved from a big city to a tiny one. And this tiny city is not as forward thinking as the big city I left behind. So there are some good times to be had when my girlfriend and I head out on the "town".

I have learned, though, that there is more than meets the eye. I have actually found other "family". Some of them are a little different. There seem to be a number of weekend lesbians. The one's who are married Monday through Friday but around the camp fire on the weekend they have a girlfriend. It can get confusing. And then the girl who gropes all the women she meets but swears she is straight. I'm not sure if she confused or just really friendly.

I shouldn't be giving them labels. I know I don't like them. But, they don't really fit in the nice little boxes. Not that any of us do 100%. I'm just happy to know that I'm not the only one the locals will burn at the stake if they find out my girlfriend really is a girl! LOL

September 9, 2008

Things that are harder to do after 30!

I love my girl. lol Now why does everytime I say that people know I am about to tell a story that she is probably going to kill me for? Not so much this time. She didn't do anything really embarrassing. However, watching her and her friend toss the football with the kids, was some fo the funniest stuff I have seen in a while. (You know, since Saturday when I saw the peacock at the farmers market!)

Our friend's (yes we have one) son had a soccer game early in the morning. So we get up early and head out to watch him play. I snap some pictures and have a good time. We head back to their house and decide to hang out for a while. I had been eyeing the trampoline in the back yard. I decide to go jump. Do you know how many muscles in your legs are worked out when you jump on a trampoline?? Too effing many is how many! Do you know what it looks like when a top heavy woman jumps on a trampoline? Like two puppies fighting under a shirt trying to smother a person! It wasn't pretty. Thankfully my friends kid came out to jump with me. He made it look so easy!

After giving up on jumping on the trampoline I decided to go take pictures of the girls throwing around the pig skin (that's a football for all you really fem girls!)in the front yard. I would hate to say it...but they kind play like grils. I can feel safe in saying this as they don't check my blog as often as they should. (This will teach them!)

First off...our friend who I will call Princess is amazing. She is funny and outgoing and full of energy. She loves to be on the go and make people laugh. So anytime with her is a good time. I love her and all...but the girl can't throw a football. She sticks her one arm out like she is having a seizure while she throws...and well...she can't catch that well either.

At one point the game was really getting fun. The boys were outplaying the grown women but it was still a good time. Then it happened. The little one decided to duck and weave just when the women are heading towards him. What follows is the greatest act of gravity I have ever seen. My girls foot gets tangled with Princess' feet. My girls starts down with Princess right on her tail! The next thing you know they are piled on the ground!! I have decided this should be part of our weekend routine from now on!!

Ya'all come back now, ya hear!

I am such a city girl. I love things city! I love going to star bucks on Saturday morning. I love stopping in the mall once every two weeks to have my nails done. I love tanning on my way home from the gym. I love getting in my car and in a few minutes being at the local gay bar. I love the city!

I now live 30 minutes from the city. I live over an hour from the nearest lesbian bar. I am 25 minutes away from the nearest star bucks. I have no clue where I can go tanning or get my nails done. And there is not a gym open past nine anywhere in this town.

I have had to find new things to do in order to entertain myself. My lovely girl and I go on five mile bike rides many evenings out of the week. We go kayaking and enjoy the lake. We go on long walks and play touch football with some of her old friends.

On Saturday mornings I brew my own coffee. I put it in my tall travel coffee mug and head two blocks south to the fair grounds. There, every Saturday morning, is the farmers market. As I have mentioned before I have been to these before. I have also been to ones in the country too. However, none are like this. I have told you some of the things I have seen so far but this past weekend took the cake! (You could get cake too!)

As we are walking in I see a woman holding a piglet. A BABY PIG PEOPLE! She asked if I wanted to buy it. What on earth am I going to do with a pig? I smile and say no thank you. Her son then tries to sell me this scary looking white rabbit with bright red eyes. No thank you!

We walk a bit farther and there is this couple carrying there many different types of chickens they just bought. Live clucking chickens in cages….being carried away like you had just bought milk at the corner grocery store.

The Amish were there. There were selling fresh produce from their gardens, baked goods, puppies and kittens. Did you know the Amish were in the business of breeding dogs and cats. They had some cute shelties.

I manage to get past the adorable puppies without wanting to take one home to head to the bird barn. They have chickens, doves, turkey, ducks, geese, and peacocks! That’s right folks, peacocks! What would you need a peacock for?? I have only ever seen them at zoo’s. Usually wondering around nipping at kids fingers for French fries and pooping all over the place. Now, apparently, you can have one for your back yard too!

There is also an interesting type of people who go down there every week. The majority of the people there are nothing like me. Now, they aren’t all like this, I have seen a few yuppies from time to time…but they are so few…they actually stick out. Anyway, the regulars are very “deliverance”. If you haven’t seen the movie…go Google it and you will know what I mean. I get checked out by more men than I can count and think it is only because I have a mouth full of teeth. I also am pretty convinced there is a short supply of non family members to be found.

What is even more strange…..I don’t see this mass of people anywhere else. I go to Wal-Mart (we don’t have one it’s in the next town over) and I never see them. They don’t hang out at the ice cream spot, or at the coffee shop. They only seem to come out on Saturday mornings for the farmers market.

While I am walking the many isle’s of “stuff” I over hear the funniest story I believe I have ever heard. A man met his wife at this very farmer’s market. They knew right off they were destined to be together. They married just two weeks after they met. They were so happy they were planning to have kids right away. They came down to the market together and ran into the brides grandmother. Turns out….I am not making this up…..they were cousins. It was by marriage so inbreeding wasn’t an issue. Come on people!!

August 22, 2008

Did you see us on the olympics???

In case you missed our coverage in China....

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August 17, 2008

My First Time

So, this is my first blog from Michigan!! The move went well! I love Michigan. It is beautiful up here. My girl and I have been taking these four mile hikes to Baw Beese Lake so the dogs can swim. We have to walk about a half mile from the house to a trail that takes you to the lake. It's a really nice trail too so you bike ride it as well which we have done once. The dogs love swimming there so much though, we have been walking in order to take them. It's also just a beautiful lake! There are these amazing houses around the lake, parks, and a great golf course. it is one of my favorite places here so far.

On Saturday mornings we walk the three blocks down to the Hillsdale County Fairgrounds for the Farmers Market. I have been to farmers markets before. Lots of fresh produce from the local area. The farmers market here is much different though. They have the typical farmers market stuff but also a weekly auction of stuff and livestock. Chickens and rabbits can be found for sale in a barn. There were people giving away free puppies and kittens. (My girl wouldn't let me bring home this adorable kitten...boo on that.) I loved it! I love all the different things you can see. I am taking my camera next week to try and get some pictures to share with everyone. Oh, there is also a large Amish population here and they have fresh baked goods for sale! Yum!

My girl grew up in this town (in this exact house actually) and knows quite a few people here. Her best friend is one of the coolest people I have met in a long time. Our second day here she got us out on the lake tubing followed by a BBQ! That's my kind of welcome. Yesterday we took the Jet Ski's out again which was a blast. We enjoyed some drinks on the deck overlooking the lake while sharing old funny stories. As we are talking we notice just how bright that full moon was and decided to take the kayaks out. It was amazing! The water was like glass and it was so peaceful. We paddled around for a while and then sat in the middle of the lake just talking and enjoying the moment.

I have to say all of this has really been good for my soul. It feels so much like the small town world I grew up in yet so different. Don't get me wrong, I miss all the big city things I got so use to but I am really enjoying my new environment!